Never going back.

In a bit of a reflective mindset today, I think mostly related to the fact that two of my best friends (and baby and teenage son) are moving down to Georgia today. It's not so much about the distance because I don't see them often, what with my being in DC and all; rather, I think it's just that they won't be in Wisco anymore. It's kind of sad for me but is also a blessing.

As far as "never going back" goes, though, it's not about that. (After all, we're only a plane ride away.)

No..."never going back" is fitness-based for me. 49 weeks ago, I moved to DC and started a new life with a new lifestyle. I love it and how things have progressed for me, but I have been reminded recently that there will always be change to endure. We can't ever settle but must always strive to be just a little better than we are now. There's a quote on my bedroom wall: "Be realistic. And don't try to be perfect." True: I don't need to be perfect. But I can try to be just a little better. And that's why I want to get back to paleo...and quickly. It's HARD to use up all this crap without feeling, well...CRAPPY!! (Does this mean I might give in to the trashbag before 8/1? Quite possibly...)


**WOD**
3 rounds for time (stupid timer stopped, but I'm probably just under 15:00):
-- Incline bicep curl (20 reps @ 15-10-10)
-- Dropsy w/ weights (16 reps @ 30#)
-- Med-grip underhand lat pulldown (20-12-8 reps @ 70-60-60)
-- Single leg pelvic thrust (40 reps)
-- Crossover lunge w/ hammer curl (20 reps @ 10)
-- DB row (15 reps @ 10)
-- Oblique plank twists (20 reps)

I need a change.

All day today I kept thinking about how I wanted to try something new. A new gym, a new workout...something. This of course brings me to CrossFit, which I'm fairly sure I'm going to end up going all-in for once I figure out where I'm moving. I think it's the variety of having a new challenge each day that has me hooked to the idea.

I decided to go home for a friend's wedding and my uncle's 60th birthday party the last weekend in July, so I booked that flight today. I'm sure my friends here think it's odd that I go home so often (twice a month the last couple months), but I'll continue to do it while I have time because I don't have that luxury come fall. Plus...I'm tired of this apartment and trying to figure out what to do with myself everyday. (In that respect, it'd be nice to have a full-time summer job, but I'm kind of glad I don't. I needed the mental break, too.)

Also anxious to get all the crap food out of my kitchen so I can focus on nutrition more easily...just hoping the faileo weeks until 8/1 (remember: I decided my Whole30 starts 8/1) don't set me back too far. I need to get the crap out of here so I can re-focus, though. 8/1 is an ideal start date: After my last summer trip home, first day of the month, and exactly 4 weeks in one place to get well-established before school starts. The only trouble will be the move, but I should have two weeks to detox before that, too. Will definitely be looking forward to it!


WOD:
A) AMRAP, 10 mins
-- 20 air squats
-- 20 hollow rocks
-- 10 sit-ups
-- 10 push-ups (knee)
Completed 5 rounds + 20 squats, 5 hollow rocks

B) Endurance sets with apps
-- Sit-ups (19, 19, 22, 19, 19 = 98)
-- Squats (30, 28, 32, 30, 30, 26, 22 = 198)
-- Push-ups (knee) (16, 15, 17, 17, 18, 15, 16, 16 = 130)

Decision Time.

Alright, so I'm bad at making decisions. I'm into my second year of grad school and pretty much figure that when I get done, I will have another degree I'm not sure what I want to do with. It takes me over an hour to grocery shop, every time...even when I have an explicit list organized by department. And I can't book a flight without calling my mom first. But I digress...

I've decided I want to go paleo, full-time. I've been thinking about it for a while, and I'm in love with the idea. I can even do it for a couple weeks at a time, but I can't seem to just throw out the non-paleo food and go for it. I just feel like cleaning out the pantry and throwing stuff out is so...wasteful! I could donate it and all, and I probably will do that with some things, but I just can't see throwing out a shitton (yes, it's a word...ask my WI friends) of food that I bought with my hard-earned (and scarce!) money. I just can't.

Soooooooooo... I'm deciding now that I am going to bite the bullet for like the next two weeks (max) and eat that food, then donate what is left. I know I'll feel less-than-ideal, but I bought it with the intention of eating healthy, and I lost over 75 lbs eating it, so clearly it's not toooooo terrible...there are just better (paleo) things I'd rather eat now. So that's that. I'll be working out with some two-a-days to try and "offset" the effects of the "crap food," and then I'm going to do a Whole30 starting August 1 (coincidentally the day I get back from a vacation, 1st of the month, a Monday, and first day of my 3rd summer class, a "week-long intensive, M-F 9:30-5:30") and eat "rough paleo" for the forseeable future. (More about what I consider "rough paleo" to come...basically it includes rare dairy (just cheese) and whole grain, so I don't feel deprived and can stick with it long-term.

So that's the decision and the plan... Hoping to stand by it (and book a flight tomorrow, when Mom calls me back, lol)!

Activity, 7/11:
1) Walking from Ballston to VA Square for errands, then around Clarendon, Court House
2) Insanity Cardio Recovery (With my legs still sore, I'm not sure why I chose this today...thanks, Keith.)

Blog: Reinvented.

So, I decided I want to start blogging again but chose to rework my old one instead of starting anew. I'm not sure why, but I think I wanted to focus on my life now...only, my life isn't brand new, just different from what it used to be. I want this blog to reflect the change in my life, so maybe continuing on the old blog will show the change I'm proud to have made.

I still very much love and care about the things I did before - humanitarian issues, charity, friends, doing good - but I also love and care about myself more now than ever before. I want to get and stay healthy - for my family, my future, and mySELF. Hopefully this blog will be a reflection of those things in my reinvented life that either I think are important enough to share with others or that I just need to get out. I'm taking a hint from Paleo Project Jenna and sharing whatever the eff I want...and not sharing what I don't want to share. Also taking inspiration from my true friend (and role model), Nina, at LiveLegit.

All that said: Stories, rants, recipes, and workouts are all fair game. Prepare thyself.

As I Prepare to Throw Up...

...I will write this blog. I am so angry I could spit. And my mother taught me that young ladies do not spit. Well I'm no longer a young lady, and I'm going to spit on someone in particular. But before that, I think I am going to throw up because the knot in my stomach is so large.

Now, let me explain a little about myself. I do not usually get angry...not like this. But I am positively FURIOUS right now. You can mess with me all you want, but do NOT mess with my friends - especially not this one. I have never experienced so many emotions at once ever before in my life...which, I think, is why I am going to throw up. (You doubt me.)

My best friend is probably the best woman I have ever known, and I'll be damned if I wouldn't fight to the death for her. And if it's her and I against the person we're against...damn the world if we don't have the rage to win. I have never before wanted to seriously strangle someone.

She does not deserve this. She deserves the OPPOSITE of this. That, right there, is the best listener, counselor, encourager, teacher, advisor, and FRIEND I have ever had the privilege of knowing. And YOU will NOT take her down.

Please note - WE were once on good terms. And well before all of THIS happened, WE lost touch. Why? Because YOU are incapable of relating to people as PEOPLE. Yes, I am a student and a PERSON. WE are no longer on good terms and have not been for quite some time. YOU know why. And YOU should know BETTER.

But then again, you do not follow the usual ethical guidelines.

Why? I know not for sure, but my guess? You have no soul. That's right...I said it. Why? Because it's true. Only you could do such a terrible thing.

Oh, you WANTED to kick a person when they're down? Great job.

I'll help her back up...and take you down in the process.

Remember, I fight for EQUALITY, JUSTICE, PEACE, and what's RIGHT. I have for some time now, and I've got many on my side. Prepare for the fight of your life...it's on.








On second thought, I don't need to throw up anymore. I'll save the rage just start plotting. And then maybe one day you'll learn about EMPATHY, PEACE, and JUSTICE.

Letters Like This = Love.

Reposted with love from: http://fwinterns.tumblr.com/post/423949849/whats-private-must-be-public

What's private must be public

Below is a letter I sent my closest friends and family. Sean asked me to post it on the blog- this isn’t easy for me (I’m challenging my comfort level here); but, these days, nothing is. I apologize if the formatting is off- our (politely stolen) internet has been shut off and my phone wasn’t built for blogging. Thank you for reading. Please post and repost and forward to everyone you know.

Please know that I am sending this to you because you have had a large impact on my life, as I hope I have had on yours. Now, I understand if it’s hard to take me seriously when I talk about fighting for peace. I realize that much of what I say is typically loaded with cynicism and sarcasm. But please believe me when I say that I need your attention, at least for a few minutes. As you know, I don’t ask for much. I don’t like handouts, I’m uncomfortable when all eyes are on me, and I’d rather do the job myself instead of asking someone for help. So keep that in mind.

I’ve been working for Falling Whistles for two full months now. That means I’ve spent forty 9-hour work days in a poorly insulated garage;I’ve spent somewhere around 62 hours sitting in traffic as I commute from my unpaid job to my paid job four days a week, which totals to about 77 hours a week dedicated to work related activities; I’ve had 3 days off from work out of the past 58; I sleep on a bottom bunk four nights a week, on a sofa the other three. My only complaint is that my iPod is out of memory, so I can’t update my play lists. Also, there’s a little extra guilt that goes along with stealing soy milk as opposed to regular milk, so I have to choose which roommate I sneak a sip from in the morning to avoid awkward eye contact in the office.

In the past eight weeks, I have forged such amazing bonds with the Falling Whistles staff and interns. I’ve been reminded of how to laugh in the face of misfortune but how to act with urgency in the event of emergency. We are a group of young people, few in number but grand in ambition; fighting for peace in Congo to end a war that has claimed almost 7 million lives over the past decade. We don’t have the answers, but we are taking strides to rehabilitate war-affected children with the hope that a new generation can halt the cycle of militia warfare and resource exploitation. When I become numb from monotony, or zombified from staring at a computer screen for hours on end, Nikki or Mallory or Chelsea or Brittany or Ashlee or Sloan or Capers or David or Sean or a total stranger that I will never meet again but is so thankful for our work, reminds me why I’m here. I can’t NOT be here.

I have an imaginary friend, a girl about my age. I realize that may sound strange, but my mother will tell you that I had many imaginary friends while I was growing up. One in particular was an ogre- looking fellow named Skong that carried a hammer and bashed down houses of all of the bad guys in the neighborhood. Because that’s what ogres do. Duh. I haven’t heard from Skong for a while- might have something to do with recent foreclosures, but who knows. Anyhow, I have a new one, but I still have a lot to learn about her. As you may have guessed, she lives in Congo, in the heart of conflict. She doesn’t ask me for help, but only because she doesn’t know how. She’s accustomed to soldiers raiding her home, raping her and her sisters; violating her, mutilating her, with their weapons. She alludes to how they find joy in her suffering and pride in her vulnerability, but she’s too frightened to assert her self-worth. She works more hours a week than I, for less pay and in more harsh conditions than I will ever comprehend. When she returns home from work and is confident that she will be left alone for the evening, we spend some time together. I wish you could see the way her eyes twinkle when I whisper to her that this isn’t how things have to be; she trusts me. I have nothing tangible to offer her, but she trusts me. I tell her that I’m doing all I can from a garage in California to help her. She closes her eyes, smiles, and tries to imagine what that means. But how can she? Likewise, how can I possibly imagine her peril, her strife?

It’s not easy to talk to people about what we’re fighting for. As soon as “war” and “Africa” are in the same sentence, there’s a propensity to shut down, to turn a deaf ear to a seemingly-unsolvable conflict and desolate situation. We are so very fortunate, you and I,whether or not we recognize it. To acknowledge another’s misfortune can be uncomfortable for many, but in reality it ought to be humbling. This isn’t a matter of assigning guilt to the well-to-do. Quite the contrary. It’s a matter of showing how great our influence can be if we all act together. I’m a fan of teamwork. And trust falls, but that’s a different conversation.

Today we started a new fundraising campaign for the interns- if we raise $2,000.00 for FW by Thursday, our boss will help us plan a trip to Oklahoma City for the weekend to help out Invisible Children in peaceful protest. They’re currently camped outside of OK Senator Tom Coburn’s office, adamant that they will stay until he votes ‘yes’ to pass legislation that could effectively end a war in Central Africa. Literally, the whole bill rests on him, yet he is wary to delegate money to help victims of a foreign war. This isn’t about Falling Whistles. This isn’t about Invisible Children. This isn’t about my internship or how many hours a week I work, what kind of bed I sleep in, or what songs are on my iPod. It’s about helping our neighbors. These ones just live a bit further away.

I kindly ask that you consider helping me and the FW team travel to Oklahoma City this weekend. Again, I hope you realize how hard it is for me to ask for aid (I’m more stubborn than you may realize). When asked how much money we thought we could raise this week as an intern class, I was certain we couldn’t do any more than $500 in four days. In the first 8 hours, we raised $660. When we work together, we hold more influence than I can fathom. This is the power of the masses. The power of us. And this is why I want to go to Oklahoma City. To add my voice to a collective call for a more peaceful world. It might be a pipedream - but can you imagine a better one to work towards?

Our ambition is to travel 1,400 miles in peaceful protest. Please help us get there.

To find out more about what Invisible Children is doing, check out their livestream from Oklahoma City here: www.coburnsayyes.com

To help the interns meet IC in Oklahoma City, please send your donations to: http://fallingwhistles.chipin.com/falling-whistles

In the end, more than your money, we want your mind. We are working to create whistleblowers - people that won’t shut up about how fantastic it is to be free; people that won’t stop until all are free. If nothing else, I hope you’ll join us.

Love love love,

Maggie

You.

I came to a realization...I may not ever like any of your girlfriends. No matter who you choose, I may not like her. I feel a little bad about that because I want you to be happy, but you also have to understand how much I miss the way things once were and the way I miss you.

But more than anything, I really would do anything to see you happy. I just want to see myself happy, too...and I'm getting there.