Wednesday, October 14, 2009


So, I feel like no one reads this anymore, but I like it's nice to just speak my mind in this seemingly infinite space that is this page.


Do you ever find yourself stuck in a situation that, even though you're not the one it's really affecting, you feel so deeply involved that you can't help but feel something tugging at your heartstrings to do something? I probably didn't explain that very well, but it's so incredibly complicated. Sometimes I just feel like I have too much sympathy and am too willing to be empathetic.

And then again, there are just some friends I would do absolutely ANYTHING for. And this is one of those situations. I wish I could take your place and do it all for you. I can't, though. But I can be there.

But as soon as I say I can be there, the reality of that statement hits me. If I'm potentially moving within the next 9-10 months, there is only so much I can do. And that kills me. I actually get a nervous feeling in my stomach (I've got it now) when I think about not being able to physically be here for my friends when they need me...especially one in particular. Call me crazy, but I'd give it all dream...if I could make this situation easier. If some people read that statement, I know I'd be admitted to a mental institution right now, but it's true. I just wish I had the power to make things better for those I care about most.

But, I guess, the bottom line is that there's only so much I can do. And even when I'm not physically here, I can still be supportive. And I'm still only a phone call away. And I still love and care about everyone as much as or more than I did before. And I would still do absolutely anything possible to help a friend.

Sometimes news takes you by surprise.
Sometimes news is shocking.
Sometimes you don't know how to react.
Sometimes the greatest shock is the greatest miracle.
Sometimes, the scariest things can be the happiest.
And sometimes...the greatest friends are far away.

There are certain people I would do absolutely ANYTHING for, and chances are that if you're reading this, you might be one of them. Sometimes, though, you just can't do anything but stand by and wait until you can do something. And that is what I'll do.

You know who you are. I'm thinking of and praying for you and your family. And to the rest, I love you dearly as well...and when the time comes, I will do everything in my power to help you, too.

Love always,

Thursday, October 8, 2009

It's hard to write about yourself...

I'm finding it hard to write about myself. I don't like getting the credit for things--I like to keep the focus on what's important. (This brings me to the subject of the recent PR stint by my lovely alma mater...which makes me sick. That was FTK ("for the kids," in IC speak), NOT a good deed meant to make the university look good...but I digress.)

I'm supposed to be writing my personal statement for school, but it's hard. The things I do that are going to be good for grad school are not things I do for that reason. Even more, they're not things I want to use to get myself ahead. I just do them because I love them and want to help in any way I know how. For that reason, this is proving incredibly difficult.

I’m a peacemaker. I’ve got the awards to prove it. But it’s more about walking the walk than the plaques.

About seven years ago, I sat in a high school classroom on my first day of “civics” class wondering what this subject was, completely oblivious to the fact that it would become not only an interest but a passion and career choice. I grew to love studying government, but even more than that, I grew to love participating in it all.

Since that time, I have gotten involved in multiple social justice campaigns and even lobbied my representatives on Capitol Hill. I didn't always want to get involved, though. I always thought I’d be a teacher. What I didn’t realize was that being a “teacher” can mean many different things. When I decided to pursue graduate school, I was student teaching at a high school outside of Milwaukee, Wisconsin and working to start an Invisible Children club at what would soon be my alma mater. I may have been graduating and taking a major step toward a career, but there was something about inspiring other young people to become activists that pulled me away from said career.

And that brings me to where I am now. That's all I have right now. How do I explain how the people I've met and the things I've done through IC have changed my life? That seeing what young people have done through this organization makes me want to be better? That seeing what a difference can be made makes me want to inspire others to do the same? I don't know how to express that to a committee of graduate school professors and admissions representatives who may or may not have gotten politically involved themselves.

A few months ago, a very close friend of mine started talking about starting a non-profit organization together, though its niche is still unknown. As I think more and more about that, I realize how much I would love to make it a reality. I would love to start an organization that helps the youth of the world get involved, as IC has done for me. Do we need a specific issue? I'm not sure. Can it just be about activism and taking an active role in whatever cause you believe in? But isn't that being overdone right now? I don't know the answer to any of these questions...but what I do know is that I want to do it.

I want to initiate change.
I want to influence the youth of a nation.
I want to make the world a better place.
I want to better myself.

I'm not sure how to do any of it, but I'm sure going to try.