As I Prepare to Throw Up...

...I will write this blog. I am so angry I could spit. And my mother taught me that young ladies do not spit. Well I'm no longer a young lady, and I'm going to spit on someone in particular. But before that, I think I am going to throw up because the knot in my stomach is so large.

Now, let me explain a little about myself. I do not usually get angry...not like this. But I am positively FURIOUS right now. You can mess with me all you want, but do NOT mess with my friends - especially not this one. I have never experienced so many emotions at once ever before in my life...which, I think, is why I am going to throw up. (You doubt me.)

My best friend is probably the best woman I have ever known, and I'll be damned if I wouldn't fight to the death for her. And if it's her and I against the person we're against...damn the world if we don't have the rage to win. I have never before wanted to seriously strangle someone.

She does not deserve this. She deserves the OPPOSITE of this. That, right there, is the best listener, counselor, encourager, teacher, advisor, and FRIEND I have ever had the privilege of knowing. And YOU will NOT take her down.

Please note - WE were once on good terms. And well before all of THIS happened, WE lost touch. Why? Because YOU are incapable of relating to people as PEOPLE. Yes, I am a student and a PERSON. WE are no longer on good terms and have not been for quite some time. YOU know why. And YOU should know BETTER.

But then again, you do not follow the usual ethical guidelines.

Why? I know not for sure, but my guess? You have no soul. That's right...I said it. Why? Because it's true. Only you could do such a terrible thing.

Oh, you WANTED to kick a person when they're down? Great job.

I'll help her back up...and take you down in the process.

Remember, I fight for EQUALITY, JUSTICE, PEACE, and what's RIGHT. I have for some time now, and I've got many on my side. Prepare for the fight of your life...it's on.








On second thought, I don't need to throw up anymore. I'll save the rage just start plotting. And then maybe one day you'll learn about EMPATHY, PEACE, and JUSTICE.

Letters Like This = Love.

Reposted with love from: http://fwinterns.tumblr.com/post/423949849/whats-private-must-be-public

What's private must be public

Below is a letter I sent my closest friends and family. Sean asked me to post it on the blog- this isn’t easy for me (I’m challenging my comfort level here); but, these days, nothing is. I apologize if the formatting is off- our (politely stolen) internet has been shut off and my phone wasn’t built for blogging. Thank you for reading. Please post and repost and forward to everyone you know.

Please know that I am sending this to you because you have had a large impact on my life, as I hope I have had on yours. Now, I understand if it’s hard to take me seriously when I talk about fighting for peace. I realize that much of what I say is typically loaded with cynicism and sarcasm. But please believe me when I say that I need your attention, at least for a few minutes. As you know, I don’t ask for much. I don’t like handouts, I’m uncomfortable when all eyes are on me, and I’d rather do the job myself instead of asking someone for help. So keep that in mind.

I’ve been working for Falling Whistles for two full months now. That means I’ve spent forty 9-hour work days in a poorly insulated garage;I’ve spent somewhere around 62 hours sitting in traffic as I commute from my unpaid job to my paid job four days a week, which totals to about 77 hours a week dedicated to work related activities; I’ve had 3 days off from work out of the past 58; I sleep on a bottom bunk four nights a week, on a sofa the other three. My only complaint is that my iPod is out of memory, so I can’t update my play lists. Also, there’s a little extra guilt that goes along with stealing soy milk as opposed to regular milk, so I have to choose which roommate I sneak a sip from in the morning to avoid awkward eye contact in the office.

In the past eight weeks, I have forged such amazing bonds with the Falling Whistles staff and interns. I’ve been reminded of how to laugh in the face of misfortune but how to act with urgency in the event of emergency. We are a group of young people, few in number but grand in ambition; fighting for peace in Congo to end a war that has claimed almost 7 million lives over the past decade. We don’t have the answers, but we are taking strides to rehabilitate war-affected children with the hope that a new generation can halt the cycle of militia warfare and resource exploitation. When I become numb from monotony, or zombified from staring at a computer screen for hours on end, Nikki or Mallory or Chelsea or Brittany or Ashlee or Sloan or Capers or David or Sean or a total stranger that I will never meet again but is so thankful for our work, reminds me why I’m here. I can’t NOT be here.

I have an imaginary friend, a girl about my age. I realize that may sound strange, but my mother will tell you that I had many imaginary friends while I was growing up. One in particular was an ogre- looking fellow named Skong that carried a hammer and bashed down houses of all of the bad guys in the neighborhood. Because that’s what ogres do. Duh. I haven’t heard from Skong for a while- might have something to do with recent foreclosures, but who knows. Anyhow, I have a new one, but I still have a lot to learn about her. As you may have guessed, she lives in Congo, in the heart of conflict. She doesn’t ask me for help, but only because she doesn’t know how. She’s accustomed to soldiers raiding her home, raping her and her sisters; violating her, mutilating her, with their weapons. She alludes to how they find joy in her suffering and pride in her vulnerability, but she’s too frightened to assert her self-worth. She works more hours a week than I, for less pay and in more harsh conditions than I will ever comprehend. When she returns home from work and is confident that she will be left alone for the evening, we spend some time together. I wish you could see the way her eyes twinkle when I whisper to her that this isn’t how things have to be; she trusts me. I have nothing tangible to offer her, but she trusts me. I tell her that I’m doing all I can from a garage in California to help her. She closes her eyes, smiles, and tries to imagine what that means. But how can she? Likewise, how can I possibly imagine her peril, her strife?

It’s not easy to talk to people about what we’re fighting for. As soon as “war” and “Africa” are in the same sentence, there’s a propensity to shut down, to turn a deaf ear to a seemingly-unsolvable conflict and desolate situation. We are so very fortunate, you and I,whether or not we recognize it. To acknowledge another’s misfortune can be uncomfortable for many, but in reality it ought to be humbling. This isn’t a matter of assigning guilt to the well-to-do. Quite the contrary. It’s a matter of showing how great our influence can be if we all act together. I’m a fan of teamwork. And trust falls, but that’s a different conversation.

Today we started a new fundraising campaign for the interns- if we raise $2,000.00 for FW by Thursday, our boss will help us plan a trip to Oklahoma City for the weekend to help out Invisible Children in peaceful protest. They’re currently camped outside of OK Senator Tom Coburn’s office, adamant that they will stay until he votes ‘yes’ to pass legislation that could effectively end a war in Central Africa. Literally, the whole bill rests on him, yet he is wary to delegate money to help victims of a foreign war. This isn’t about Falling Whistles. This isn’t about Invisible Children. This isn’t about my internship or how many hours a week I work, what kind of bed I sleep in, or what songs are on my iPod. It’s about helping our neighbors. These ones just live a bit further away.

I kindly ask that you consider helping me and the FW team travel to Oklahoma City this weekend. Again, I hope you realize how hard it is for me to ask for aid (I’m more stubborn than you may realize). When asked how much money we thought we could raise this week as an intern class, I was certain we couldn’t do any more than $500 in four days. In the first 8 hours, we raised $660. When we work together, we hold more influence than I can fathom. This is the power of the masses. The power of us. And this is why I want to go to Oklahoma City. To add my voice to a collective call for a more peaceful world. It might be a pipedream - but can you imagine a better one to work towards?

Our ambition is to travel 1,400 miles in peaceful protest. Please help us get there.

To find out more about what Invisible Children is doing, check out their livestream from Oklahoma City here: www.coburnsayyes.com

To help the interns meet IC in Oklahoma City, please send your donations to: http://fallingwhistles.chipin.com/falling-whistles

In the end, more than your money, we want your mind. We are working to create whistleblowers - people that won’t shut up about how fantastic it is to be free; people that won’t stop until all are free. If nothing else, I hope you’ll join us.

Love love love,

Maggie

You.

I came to a realization...I may not ever like any of your girlfriends. No matter who you choose, I may not like her. I feel a little bad about that because I want you to be happy, but you also have to understand how much I miss the way things once were and the way I miss you.

But more than anything, I really would do anything to see you happy. I just want to see myself happy, too...and I'm getting there.

Gossip and Judgment

"It's our job to help, not to judge."

I heard this today, and then I got a text. I'll leave anonymous the content of the text and thus the identity of the texter, but it was...disappointing, at least. I thought we were past this point.

No, I did not tell you X piece of gossip. That was told to me, in confidence, months ago. And, when one of my friends (or anyone, for that matter) tells me something in confidence, I do not share that information. It was not for you to know; if it were, you would have been told.

As I told a friend recently:

...Leaving may be one of the hardest things I have had to do, but it will be so worth it when, one day, I can look back and say things in this world have changed because of what I have accomplished. I don't usually like to take credit for things like that, but I truly want to leave what one might term "a legacy." Then, I will know that I have made a difference. If the Girl Scouts taught me one thing, it was to leave a place better than when you came, and may that be so for the world. I will strive always to make the world less judgmental, more understanding, less selfish, more compassionate. All of us deserve that, and it will make us a better mankind. I only hope for that to happen in time for my dearest friends to benefit from it.

Do not judge my friends. Who are you to do so?! Things happen. People change. Life is unexpected, and sometimes I think that's the best part. Sometimes, circumstances are complex and even unusual, but that doesn't matter in the end. Just because things may not be what you imagine they should be does not mean they aren't very much supposed to be that way. You do not know the back story because maybe you aren't supposed to. I don't necessarily know why that is, but I do know this: It's not my place to encourage the gossip. It's my place to stop it.

Don't judge my friends. Support people, uplift them, love all. Maybe it's just me, but I think this world would be a much better place if we all did so.

Dear World...

...You have problems. Yes, I'm just going to come out and say it. World, you have serious problems. I think too many people today are too willing to be passive and ignore this fact. And too many people today are too willing to say those problems are beyond them--that they can do nothing to fix you, World.

Well, I am not one of them. My name is Kimberly and I am 23 years old...and by most standards that makes me young and not-yet-wise in the ways of the world. I beg to differ. I may be from a small, closed-minded neighborhood in little old Wisconsin in the often-selfish United States, but I know a lot of things about this world I live in.

I know that I am a citizen not only of that small, closed-minded neighborhood but also of this world. As such, I refuse to ignore its problems. I know that it is the little things we do for others that can make all the difference. And, I know that what we do today will impact others for many years to come. I also know that what I do can change you--either for better or for worse. So you can call me young and uneducated, but I know better. I know I can make you better, World.

They called me the curious child and the dreamer...and I still proudly claim those labels. I wanted to see things and to talk to all kinds of people and to learn...oh how I wanted to learn about everything. I still do, more than ever. And I will.

World, you have serious problems that may be hard to fix. But I know they are fixable. I have a fire inside of me that in my 23 years here has only grown larger. I have a fire inside that wants to make a difference, and I can feel it raging and trying to spread. I have always said I enjoy doing the little things for others that make them really happy. Now, I choose to do those things for the world. I know that small actions can make a big difference. I also know that a fire this big can yield some pretty big change.

So, World, I may not know exactly what I want to do or even exactly what problem I want to fix...yet. But what I do know is that things need to change. Soldiers need to be appreciated by their country. Children should never be soldiers. Women should be valued and treated as equals. And all people deserve some basic rights.

I may not know yet how these problems can be fixed.
I might not be able to fix all of these problems.
But all of these problems do need to be fixed.
And I--and maybe I alone--will be part of the solution.

Between you and I, World, no one has yet seen what I have to offer. Sure, I might have done a couple good things in the last 23 years, but you haven't seen anything yet. The world is desperate for some change...I can see that. But that isn't going to happen overnight or without some people willing to take action. What the world needs is some whistleblowers. We need some people willing to stop everything and not let action resume without first instituting some serious change. Yes, the world needs to stop turning so its people pay attention. Then, change can and will occur.

World, your people deserve better than this. And I will make that happen. Of that, you can be sure.

With sincerest wishes for peace and love,
Kimberly Susanmarie Meyer